


directions

by josiewrites



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Angst, College, F/M, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Goodbyes, Graduation, Light Angst, Pining, Romance, long distance, lucaya - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-08-28 07:46:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16719279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/josiewrites/pseuds/josiewrites
Summary: “We’re idiots for this, aren’t we?”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> oh, hey. this is my first multi-chapter fic. i have the next part mostly written! thanks to those that read, leave kudos, and comment. swear you’re the only reason i keep writing and i very much appreciate the feedback and kind words anyone has to offer. ~ josie.

Maybe this is a bad idea, deciding to throw caution to the wind on the night when life is approaching that moment where it’s about to throw you all in different directions. 

Then again it’s graduation, so maybe it should be the night of no regrets. The time to finally face up to what’s been pushed down and aside for years. Feelings covered up and hidden behind extra credit art projects and numerous dead-end relationships that you’d throw your whole heart into just to ignore how you really felt. 

So now you’re high on the prospect of freedom mixed with the lightheartedness of all your fellow graduated students combined with years of pent up _something_ you never reconciled with for a certain Huckleberry. 

It has you hanging on a somewhat maybe foolish hope when your legs start moving you across the room and toward Lucas. 

“I made a mistake.”

They’re the first words out of your mouth when you’re face to face with him and his brows knit in confusion, but his green eyes are soft and he’s wearing that easy smile he has to trick people into thinking he’s charming. But, fuck, he really is. 

“Maya, hey, is everything alright?”

Your hand grasps for his and he doesn’t question it as you drag him into an empty room.

“I don’t want to have any regrets. You asked me what I wanted, years ago, when the triangle was still happening and at every chance I pushed you and Riley together. I didn’t want that, Lucas. And I made a mistake doing that. I wanted you.”

The stakes had been too high back then. It was between losing Riley, who’d always been there, or the boy you’d met just a couple years prior. Riley wanted him, too and you could be happy for her. For them. And you were. She wouldn’t have taken it as well as you did, it was a loss you could handle. 

They fell apart sometime in the middle of sophomore year, you were dating someone else at the time. Then the timing just never seemed right. It’s definitely not the right time, even now, what with college so near but it’s all you have. 

He’s silent for a few seconds, maybe for a few minutes. Either way, it feels like forever but you know he’s taking the time to digest the information. To bounce it back and forth in his mind and weigh the consequences, ever the moral compass. 

“Lucas...” it’s been too long without him saying anything.

He’s looking at you differently than he ever has with this piece of newfound knowledge, and it’s hard to gauge exactly what he’s thinking. 

“You wouldn’t let me choose you.”

“I know.”

Then he’s telling you that he chose the first time you met at the subway. Then again, in Texas beside the fire. New Years on the roof, when you were glad he was standing next to you. When you climbed in through the bay window drenched in purple paint and he’d asked what _you_ wanted to do. The evening he spent over an hour looking for you with Farkle when you were nearly arrested for vandalism, worried sick about you. 

And so, so many times since. 

.

So you find yourself pinned between Lucas and the door of his truck outside of the building that the party at the Minkus penthouse is taking place at, your legs wrapped securely around his waist. 

“We’re idiots for this, aren’t we?”

The implication that if you’d just been better at communicating - that if you had been honest with your feelings early on, you could have been here sooner - hanging heavy in the space between the both of you. 

“Definitely,” but he’s pressing his lips to yours, your doubts slipping away as he peppers kisses down your jawline before finding the spot just above the pulse point on your neck. 

All you can do is mumble that maybe this should be moved somewhere more private.

.

Katy and Shawn left town almost immediately after your graduation, each pressing a kiss to your cheek and telling you that they’re so proud and to make good choices while they’re gone for the next few days. They felt bad but Shawn had a deadline to reach for the travel magazine he works for and from time to time Katy goes with him. 

Anyway, it means the apartment is unoccupied now and you can’t really find a reason to be upset that your parents had to leave the second you were handed the diploma when Lucas is hovering above you, a look in his eyes that catches you off guard because it’s not the first you’ve seen this stare directed at you. As if you’re the most important person in the world to the boy tracing your lips with his fingertips right now. 

It’s all so overwhelming and you flip the both of you over so you’re straddling him, blonde hair creating a curtain to obscure the surrounding world as your face is just above his own. 

“Just friends, right, Huckleberry?”

It’s a desperate request, because despite your confessions and knowing that with feelings being involved this is far more complicated than merely a hook up, but you pray he’ll brush all of that aside like you’re trying to just for the sake of tonight.

“With college and you leaving..”

You’re staying in New York for university, having been accepted to NYU and Lucas is going back to Texas because that was always the plan. It’s just, he never expected this place to become the home that it did. To meet two girls on the subway his first day of school, changing his world forever - and he tells you as much. 

“Yeah, just friends.”

He tries to sound sure and confident with his words and if you hear the hesitation in his voice, you pretend that you don’t. 

The empty agreement of _just friends, just friends, just friends_ faintly echoing in your mind as he takes his time with you, soon moving further and further away and eventually disappearing. Breathy whispers of _Lucas_ hot against his neck, the only thing you can say, as he brings you to the edge. 

And you know that when summer ends, saying goodbye to him is going to be more difficult than it has to be.

.

There was never a promise of just one night. Only a promise of “just friends” and making it a point on not labeling whatever it is that’s going on between you and Lucas beyond a friendship. Spending all your free time that isn’t filled with family and friends, alone with each other. Sneaking in and out of each other’s bedrooms at night, or staying with the hope that neither of your parents will catch you.

“So, you’re dating.” Riley states plainly as if it’s that simple when you explain your situation with Lucas.

“No, Riles, we’re just friends.”

She’s regarding you strangely, brown eyes narrowed and, really, she’s pretty good at reading you and knowing your thoughts. 

“I never told you why we broke up.”

Neither of them had and Farkle and Zay didn’t didn’t really pry either, thinking it best to let things resolve themselves. The breakup had seemed amicable enough because the friend group never split. Both Riley and Lucas being present at all study sessions and movie nights, acting like they’d never been together at all. It was strange but no one really questioned it. 

“It was a long time ago,” you shrug it off, it doesn’t really matter. Their relationship isn’t one you want to rehash if you’re being completely honest. 

“Peaches, I saw how he looked at you,” she’s smiling. “I’d always seen it but it finally clicked one day.”

There’s not an ounce of anger to be heard in Riley’s tone. She mentions Cory and Topanga and how that was her dream. The first boy she fell for, and ever kissed, being the person she’s with for the rest of her life. She realized her parents were that rare exception to the usual reality where childhood friends and high school sweethearts are rarely the norm. 

“It’s been two and half years since then and you’re both still denying your feelings.”

“We’re not denying them, the feelings are out there. We both know.”

“Then what’s the deal?”

Bless Riley for seeing things easier than they actually are. As if there’s always a silver living. And maybe there is, except in this case there isn’t one _right now_.

“The deal is that he’s leaving. He’s going to Texas and whatever happens along the way, happens.”

“You’re happy with that?”

You answer her question with silence because no, no, of course you aren’t _happy_ with that. But you aren’t unhappy either, it’s the most that you and Lucas can offer each other right now and it has to be enough.

.

School’s starting in two weeks and when Lucas’ truck is all packed to go for his drive down to Texas, it hits you square in chest and leaves you dizzy and breathless. You’re not ready for him to go. Granted, you’ve never been good with people leaving and it helps that he’s leaving for school and it’s not like you’ll never see him again. 

“You’re taking me with you,” you tease as you’re climbing into the front passenger side seat of the vehicle and buckling the seatbelt. Maybe it’s only half a joke.

“Don’t tempt me,” he’s raising a challenging eyebrow at you but before you can do anything he’s pushing the release on the buckle and tugging you across the center console of the car and into his lap. 

“I’m going to hold you for as long as I can.”

You make a fake gagging noise, “Gross. You’re such a sap, Cowboy.”

“Maya you’re the one that got into my car and said you were coming with me. So, who’s really the sap?”

You roll your eyes and try to pull away from him, not being all that serious with your display of annoyance but he keeps you where you are with one hand on your cheek, moving your face close to his own and instead of kissing you he rests his forehead against yours. 

“I’ll be back in a couple months,” he whispers and you’re content to let him hold you until he really does have to be on his way. 

He leaves with a kiss, and as you watch his truck grow smaller the further it goes, you try to believe that there isn’t an emptiness that’s carving its way into your chest only able to be filled with Lucas.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it's been a while and I hope this chapter doesn't feel like I filler. I had a lot of fun writing this bit and wanted to get something posted since it's been a long time. 
> 
> Also- this was originally meant to be three parts but it's going to be longer than that now. Hope you all stick around!
> 
> Thanks to those that read, comment, leave kudos. - Josie

It's a challenge not to stare at the little contact photo of Lucas underneath the messages screen on your phone. 

It's a picture you'd snapped of him over the summer, one morning after his mother had already left for work and you'd snuck in through his window. He was fast asleep - or maybe just pretending to sleep because you certainly weren't as quiet as you could have been while climbing through his window - his blanket pulled all the way up around his neck so only his face was in view. You slipped your phone from your back pocket while his eyes were still closed only to be met with Lucas grinning at you through the lens of the camera, at having caught you trying to sneak a picture of him. He'd reached out his arm from beneath the blanket after you'd quickly taken the photo, pulling you on top of him and you'd been a giggling mess because he makes you feel so out of control.

It was a really good morning.

You kind of think about him all the time and studying be damned since you can't seem to focus long enough to retain anything you've read in the class textbook. Debating on whether to call Lucas - just to hear his stupid cowboy voice - or not reach out to him at all is what's demanding a large chunk of your attention and you feel fucking ridiculous. You miss him, not talking as much recently because you both thought it was best to give each other time to get settled into this new way of life.

And now there's this momentary onslaught of internal panic that _fuck, maybe he is more than a friend_ \- because of course he is - when all you want is to hear him because he can't be next to you right now. Instead, you chalk it up to going from seeing your close friend nearly every day throughout your middle and high school years, to possibly only seeing him over breaks depending on how things work out. So, yeah, of course, you miss him.

"Fuck it," you find yourself muttering under your breath as you make the call and when he answers on the second ring you swear you can actually _hear_ the smile in his voice and it fills you up with something you can't quite place but it's a feeling you want more of and you can't fight the smile that's threatening to split your face in half because that's what Lucas does for you. He makes you _happy_ , it's almost overwhelming.

He tells you about his classes. He talks about his dorm, his roommate, and the people he's met so far and those he's reconnected with after being away from Texas for so long. About how his Pappy Joe's ranch is less than an hour away from his school and sometimes he'll drive there to visit and help out. That it's nice being around horses, actual good barbecue, and open roads that he can drive fast on unlike the congested city streets in New York. There's a light cheeriness coloring his voice. He seems to have taken really well to being back there again.

You know it's silly but part of you feels the need to ask him not to forget about you.

When he asks you what you've been up to you don't tell him that most of your time is occupied thinking of him. That anytime you get a new canvas and start to paint you always ended up mixing just that _right_ shade of green that's the same as his eyes. That sometimes when you're sketching someone out, it ends up being him or something stupid like cowboy boots and various other things that make you think of him. Everything is Lucas and it pisses you off, only a little bit. But you push that all down and aside because you've never been _that_ girl.

Instead, you tell him about the art program you're in. How it's hard being away from Riley, as this is the longest you've been apart since you were just six years old. You tell him about the job you have a few days a week at a small art gallery close to campus. You mention your classes and how studying has kind of been kicking your ass but you're really wanting to take school seriously. You see Katy and Shawn and pretty often because you're not far from home but wanted the whole college experience with living in dorm rooms and having a roommate - who's barely ever around and parties a lot but it makes for a quiet space for studying and focusing on your art after a long day. You can't stop the smirk from forming on your lips when he asks if you've met anyone or gone out on any dates. He tries to sound casual but fails at it miserably. You say no and swear that you can hear his sigh of relief from the other side of the phone.

When a lull in the conversation hits, you're content to listen to the steady inhales and exhales of his breath, thinking of the pace of his heartbeats when your head's lying against his chest and suddenly you're having to talk yourself out of buying the cheapest ticket you can find to Texas to fly out and see him.

"Maya?"

Your heart lurches when he says your name, his voice cutting through the quiet and stirring you from your thoughts. 

"Yeah, Huckleberry?"

"I miss you, too. That's why you called, isn't it?"

He sounds so smug. Because he _knows_ you.

He can see right through you and it's so irritating. Maybe you haven't said it, how much you miss him and how much he invades your thoughts. You're not sure why you haven't seeing as how this thing between you went too far the night it started so what difference would it make?

You just laugh it off, simultaneously hating and loving the way he gets in your head like that.

"Shut up."


End file.
